Thursday, June 18, 2009
Smart Girls: when being smart is a problem.
I have been bothed lately by the fact that my daughter is catching up in age and still single. Of course it's her right to decide on when to settle down. But everytime a relationship soured up, I'm saddened and feel sorry for her. She's smart and being a connoisseur of the opposite sex myself I must modestly admit that she can be quite a stunner.
I have observed every relationship without any intrusion or interference for I trust her intelligence implicitly. At the slighest sign of the relationship going sour I asked her some questions. Does he introduce you to his relatives and friends? Is he a responsible member of his family? Is he reliable and trustworthy? Does he really love you? I've told my daughter explicitly that I couldn't care less about his look, financial status or social status. If she wants to marry a pauper or a drifter, that's her problem.
Surprisingly, even when all the answers to my questions are positive, the relationship finally tails off as a mere friendship.Why? I can't blame the boys. It must be her.
Engaging her in a lot of discussions and arguments not necessarily on love and marriage, I found that she has an anwer to all my questions, however tricky I put it accross. She can argue logically and convincingly, with a lot of humour and some unexpectedly profound insights into life and human nature. She seems able to read people's character and gauge their intellectual acumen.
She has acquired the art of analyzing an issue to the root cause of the problem, which she says comes from me.
" Then how come you always fail in love?"
" Coz I haven't found the right man!"
" You're too choosy. You can't find polished diamonds in the field. ( A polished diamond usually belongs to someone).Get a good (even) rough stone and polish it yourself. It is in the process of polishing and customising the stone that love grows and
become the basis of a lasting marriange."
" I'm surveying the mines for a good stone. dad.So far I found duds. Only the polished ones ( and I know they belong to someone) are very quick on the draw, and I avoid them."
Can't win an argument with her. Slowly I realized that she's being too smart and the boys are scared of her. He would be overshadowed in any conversation with friends especially if he's not a graduate. I feel like advising her to act dumb sometimes
when in the company of a good prospect, allow him to show off his talent, praise whatever talent he has in an honest way, and let him run the show. As a man I like a girl to be that way, after satisfying myself that she has some brains in her head. Why, some gentlemen even prefer dumb girls! at least pretend to be dumb while in their arms. Men always want to feel smarter than their women.
Well, smart girls, that's how I feel. I wonder if the ladies who have found the right man could give my daughter some advice. Otherwise I'll just tell her what I felt and ask her to try the dumb act, without really becoming dumb.