Thursday, July 16, 2009
Quest for a Partner Dilemma.
I never thought that seeking for the right life-partner would become the greatest problem of the 21st century. More daunting than getting a university degree, a good job, or a promotion, and more rife with erroneous assumptions, false romantic notions, conservatisms, disilluisonments and frustrations, especially for the smart and beautiful single girls.
I touched on this subject casually in a previous posting. Today the NST (July15, L&T p.2) comes out with the question: So how do you find your special someone? Meera Murugesu writes about the findings of a Survey on dating trends in Malaysia, Singapore and Hongkong and interviewed Violet Lim, the founder of the Dating Agency wihich conducted the survey. All single girls and men should read the article to gauge what's wrong with their own assumptions and hope, and face today's reality.
Let me not try to simplify a complicated matter. How people meet, get acquainted, fall in love and tie the matrimonial knot is a fascinating subject full of surprises, impossibilities and mysteries. The process itself is most exciting, fufilling and edifyng and no two experiece is the same no matter how many times you go through it. So, why not enjoy it as many times as you can? Coz, two or three failed attempts and you can become an 'andatu' or a 'bujang terlajak'.
No prescription to avoid pitfalls can ever be drawn up even by the love experts, who in many cases failed in their own marriage.
My simple advice is: when you meet a person who stirs you inside (never just outside for the good looking girl or guy has many admirers already), imagine yourself living with this person, sharing your bed and waking up in the morning to see his/ her face, spending long hours on a desert with him/her. Would you welcome it? Would the other person welcome it too? If you do, and he/she does too, go for it. Other things can be worked out together. Start thinking how this or that would change you and your life ( remember the other person has to sacrifice his/her freedom too), and the quest will go on without end.
The greatest trouble is when the other party shows a lack of enthusiasm or eagerness. Here comes the need to sacrifice your
time, pride and priorities to appreciate his/her's. Test your patience and cool. If after showing him/her how much you cared,
danced to his/her tune for a resonable period, and do whatever is possible to excite his/her enthusiam you still get no positive response, then it's better to break away clean and start a new hunt.
Don't waste your life blowing on dying embers, even though they were burning hot at one time.