Thursday, July 2, 2009
Illusive Love for the Smart and Beautiful.
This is a sequel to my post on the dilemma of the smart and beautiful girl in finding a life partner.
The findings herein are based not only on observing my daughter and her friends but also through discussions with some senior bachelor girls and analyzing the characters of of some novels.
I've seen many articles giving hints on how to catch a husband. Written by girls - or rather ladies.
As a man some of the hints given made me laugh. They fail to understand that the man can be smart too!
What I'm laying down is from the man's pov. Plain, sincere and with no holds barred.
Let me begin by quoting a macho friend who said some years ago when he was chasing a very beautiful and smart girl in the University: Only a diamond can cut a diamond! He did succeed in marrying the girl but finally broke up. Why? They were too smart for each other,and none would like to play dumb.
Men do appreciate smart and beautiful girls but a man cannot tolerate being outsmarted too many times. Nor when a girl uses her brains all the time allowing him no opportunity to fool around with her. A smart heroine character from a novel had to pretend enjoying the lousy and humdrum courtship and love-making style of her man to drag him to the alter of matrimony. Only after the marriage did she coax him to try some more exotic approaches.
A cardinal rule for not putting a man off is: never look down or ridicule him on his clumsiness or even stupidity, both in everyday interactions, during the act of falling in love and the more so when fooling around. That's when you've to play dumb ( as if lost or enthralled in his charm) and enjoy the act. You may go wild but don't frighten him especially when he himself is nervous and uncomfortable. Make him feel good and in full command.
Do you allow him to go all the way before taking the oath of marriage? I'll only answer that on urgent request for in many cases, giving such permission too early leaves him no mystery to be explored only after marriage and may raise many questions. Outright rejection, on the other hand, may terminate the fun of fooling around prematurely, and probably the entire relationship.
Enough on that for now. Only one more thing. After you've hooked him, don't go galavanting around with other men unless together with him. Show that you don't enjoy anything as much as when together with him. Good luck.