Disability on Hariraya Aidilfitri

As far as I can remember in my adult life, this is the second time that I could not celebrate Aidilfitri in good health. The first time was some years ago when I came down with hypertension or high blood pressure. The doctor in a private hospital which treated me discharged me a few days before the festive day with an ample supply of medication. But the pills given were not effective on me and my blood pressure reached the ceiling forcing me to remain half conscious for a few days.
I went back to the hospital after the festival, was treated with a new pill and the pressure immediately came down. It seems that even doctors play a guessing game when it comes to prescribing the right pills for hypertension for there are so many types available in the market.

After a bypass operation my blood pressure is ok now although I have to consume some four or five types of pills everyday. The medication must be changed after sometimes when the effectiveness of the one given wears out, the good doctor tells me.

This time i was down with a bad cough and cold. Since it struck me towards the end of the fasting month (Ramadhan), i could not take my medicine during daytime.
I didn't go to see a doctor since it was a common c & c and I could get the known medication from the pharmacy. But come the final day of fasting I was still couging an sneezing. My participation in preparing for the festive day was minimal, in fact zilt. On the night before the last day of fasting I just managed to perform the tarawih
with lot of sneezing, coughing and sweating. With exceptional willpower and a total Fsubmission to Allah's willI I took the compulsory morning bath on Aidilfitri day and fulfilled both the special prayer followed the usual Friday prayers. But the exertion forced me to remain in bed under heavy sedation for most of today. Only for a few minutes could I join the visitors who visited us for most of the time I was snoring ( or is it snorting) away.

There's always a blessing behind every misfortune, says the al-Quran. While staying in bed both before and on the Aidilfitri day itself, I certainly learned a few things. You never get to think of what other people do towards the end of Ramadhan or on the festive day itself. This time around I had all the opportunity to do so. Looking around the village in the little time that I could manage to get out of bed, I could see how family members were returning home to their roots and cleaning the old houses in which they grew up. There was a lot of grass cutting and flower plant trimmings to be done and seeing all the urbanized family members getting the job done was a treat even for a sick old man.

Cutting the beef and chicken (all bought at the many stalls by the roadside) by the housewives,for a while reminded me of human carnivorousness. Surely the cows and the chickens, if they had any selfconsciuosness, would dread the coming of the festive days. But then Allah had allowed and in fact encouraged the sacrifice. There must pain during the sacrifice but certainly Allah had ensured that the animals don't
suffer so much. When human being killed each other is the ordeal of death suffered of the same order, I wondered.

Yesterday evening before the festive day and in the short while that I felt quite able to be on my feet in spite of the bad c & c, I helped to prepare the oil lamps to be posted along the road to our house. That's part of the old tradition rendered meaningless with the common use of electricity which becomes meaningful only if there's blackout. In the process of stepping over some fallen coconut trees I slipped and landed my bums on a tree with flailing arms. The back of one elbow was badly scraped by the rough bark of the tree and it hurt so until now. another bad luck. But what do you know? The pain took away my consciousness of the stuffy nose and sore throat which probably allowed me to perform the Magrib and Isyak at the mosque. Aha, another blessing in diguise. Yes, this c & c is probably brought upon me so that I can be more aware of the full meaning of Ramadhan, more than what I have gathered in previous years.

In that respect the hariraya this year is a blessing to me. I celebrated it with more thoughts about people, life, the world and Allah and less about having a good time for myself and family. The disability to move around and indulge in merry-making gave me an opportunitynto more soul-searching and self-analysis. Subhanallah walhamdulillah, walaillahaillallah, wallahu akbar, Allahu akbar.



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