We've heard talks, see on TV and probably read a lot of articles and even books on anger management. It is one of the in things to keep our sanity intact and the level of tension on our neuro-psychological system under control. People with hypertension should not only learn to control their anger but must take some medication to ensure that his or her blood pressure doesn't at times go ballistic.
Controlling anger is one thing. Understanding the cause of it is another. Sometimes we know why we get angry. Sometimes we don't. We just feel like shouting at something that goes against our wish or expectation, at things that do not go the way WE WANT them to. As an observer we sometimes feel surprised and even angry when we see someone bursting into a fit of temper for no apparent or (to us) conceivable reason. If we asked the person concerned and he's in a good enough mood to reply, the reason he or she gives could be so trifling or even amusing. It shoild cause laughter NOT anger.
"Why are you so angry with your daughter? I asked a neighbor one day with a big smile so that my intention would not be misunderstood and I don't get a reply such as, "Mind your own business" or " That's none of your concern!" She was grumbling and shouting at her on the top of her voice.
"I told her so many times not to buy food from the school canteen and she continues to do it." I was already laughing to myself internally. For that reason you have to raise hell with her? I asked myself, not courageous enough to ask her.
"If she can't buy food from the canteen, then where can she get something to eat or drink when she gets hungry or thirsty? Surely the food from the canteen cannot be that bad. So many school children buy their food and drinks from there." Having said that I felt quite worried. Sshe now had a reason to ask me to shut up and mind my own business.
" The food there is not that clean. Some children had gotten sick after eating some food from the canteen."
" Then where can she get her food and drinks from?"
" I've already provided her with a lunch packet and some drinks!"
" But children like to eat and drinks with their friends at the canteen?"
" Then go la and eat there, but eat the food that I prepared." There was a strong emphasis on the word "I".
That's always the central them in any outburst of anger. The "I" had been hurt, neglected or not given due respect and obeisance. It's always the "I" which has been rubbed wrongly, scratched or rudely transgressed. The incident that triggers the anger is not that important and the details are sometimes not even known. Sometimes more of it is imagined or just suspected.
Like the wife who suspects that her husband is up to some tomfoolery or mischievous diversion. The fact that he is late for some appointment or is not where he was supposed to be as expected, would be enough to kindle a bondfire. It doesn't matter what or how he explained the situation. The wife would only believe what she wanted to believe. And nothing can be done to stop the fire from crackling until it dies down on its own. Just don't fan it further.
I gave this preamble to help understand some of the anger, vitriolic criticisms and vilification of certain parties - the government , the opposition or just some members of society - that we read in the blog-sphere. The language used can be very cantankerous, abusive, insulting or downright slanderous. But the reason given for feeling so is either so frivolous, a recast of the stock criticism already made by the public or a certain segment of the community towards another, a mere ranting to lighten up some burden of the soul, or projecting a long-suppressed hatred or prejudice which time had failed to
If one cares to examine the cause of the anger, cooly and objectively, use more logic than emotions. and be ready to give the benefit of the doubt to the party that has triggered the anger, the internal turmoil would resolve itself without giving vent to
abusive and insulting language spewed into cyberspace. We might than have more room for discussions and exchange of views and interests, resolve some of the difference in values and preferences, and jointly seek the changes that we want in society by expressing our hopes and expectations of the government, or those people who have failed us. Today, even big dignitaries and the YBs have their own blogs and fbs. If they do read the entries of other people beside that of their own friends, the more sober and factually logical ones would certainly receive the attention they deserve. Irresponsible rantings and emotional explosions would not, of course, attract their attention. They can only serve the purpose of letting of steam for your own personal satisfaction.
So, can we all check back on the dark reservoir of pent up anger that sometimes looms its head in our blogsphere? Unless pouring such anger out is considered as a very satisfying pastime, let's examine the causes of the anger and see if they are based on real or imaginary premises. That calls for a self-devised and imposed anger management therapy which may help our society and the nation to progress on a more even keel.